| There's a reason I haven't blogged for a while...I've been working on my presidential campaign. Unfortunately, it just so happens that the election is this year...soooo....I guess I have to wait until 2012. There are just couple of main points that I want to bring up in my campaign, ones that will undoubtedly win me the election.
How do we deal with the energy crisis? Simple...and my solution will take care of two of America's biggest problems. How do we save gas and help eliminate our obesity problem? Give cars the right of way. How much gas is wasted slowing down for someone to cross the street, or slamming on your brakes because a cyclist thinks that they need to ride right on the line on the highway? Accelerating is where we waste our gas, so why slow down for people? How does this help the obesity problem? People won't be walking carelessly across the street...they will be running. Want to enjoy that double-scoop ice cream cone while crossing the street? You better be able to run and lick at the same time, because I'm not slowing down for you.
Second problem for me? People that shouldn't be having children having children. And more children. And more children. How come smart people have an acceptable amount of children, and the ones that can barely read have like 20? Not only is this making the overall intelligence of the country dumber, these people are using our tax money to "raise" these children. All they're doing are raising more people who will take advantage of the system. How do we fix this? You must obtain a license to have a child. Both mother and father must go through a series of psychological tests to make sure they are fit to be parents. Only licensed pregnancies will be allowed. Any couple with an unlicensed pregnancy is forced to donate their fetus to science, where incredible discoveries will be made, and all diseases will be cured...except for stupidity.
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| Here is a warning. If I come to your house, and use your bathroom, I will look behind your shower curtain. Too many murders have happened because people don't look behind the shower curtain when using the bathroom. You will not kill me.
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| Stewie just about sums it up...
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| How do I know this? I dreamt it. Not only did I dream it, but in my dream, I had dreamt that the zombies would come. My wife and I were in a hotel looking out the window, and the zombies came. We barricaded ourselves inside, and I remember yelling "I knew the zombies would come...I dreamt it!" We escaped the hotel and got away, thanks to zombie-killing practice in Dead Rising.
So there...you've been warned.
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